In many aspects of our lives, our ability to respond is hampered when we feel unheard. We want to be heard and understood by someone who can sympathize with us and experience the same emotions that we are experiencing. When we are acknowledged, we feel stronger and more confident.
And, please, be truthful...
Do you consider yourself to be an excellent listener? Do you honestly think that we are paying attention? Before you get too caught up in your philosophical response about the psychology of listening, I'll tell you what the answer is: we don't.
Consider a time when you experienced a joyful moment, such as receiving an offer for a job that you desired or launching your new business. Now consider what would happen if no one was present to hear your excitement, particularly someone you wished to listen to it from, such as a family member, close friend, or someone you cared about. Let's imagine that they have too much on their plate and cannot listen right now. They're so preoccupied with their worries that they don't realize how vital it is for you to converse and convey your feelings to them. Before anybody takes offense, please understand that this is not a direct attack on someone who has a lot on their plate; rather, it is intended to offer some perspective. When it comes to the people closest to you, the ones whom you hold near and dear to your heart, the anguish of not being heard is further intensified by their absence.
How to listen
The two most important goals of listening are getting information and preventing the conversation from drifting away from the speaker's point of view. Listening to someone who is focused on us may be pretty inspiring. Everyone should have the chance to understand and experience how much we are loved by people close to us. Sometimes, the mere act of listening is all required of a person. Consider the following scenario: you're a college student during finals week, and you're feeling swamped with studying, exams projects, and, of course, attempting to maintain a healthy balance between your personal and mental well-being. When you're stressed out, you want to confide in someone who would listen. But, let's assume you confide in your parents, and their reaction to you is "it's normal, everyone is stressed out before finals," or "just study more." This is the failure to be heard or understood. This may be pretty devastating, mainly when it occurs between us and our parents, children, or spouses. Being able to listen is a talent that may be developed and exercised throughout one's life, especially while dealing with individuals closest to you. To avoid or correct misunderstandings, we must have the courage to listen closely, enabling deeper meanings to emerge from our surroundings.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, did the tree still create any noise?
So, how can you recognize if someone is speaking to you when you aren't physically there in the situation? Because of social media and the ease with which we may communicate via email, texting, and calling, it's difficult to know how much listening occurs. Unfortunately, it seems that this essential concept has been lost amid a tsunami of information. Our ability to pay attention seems to have disappeared. When people are at a loss for words, they find stillness uncomfortable, which they fear to be the case.
A lack of hearing or a failure to listen to one another separates us from the people we care about the most in life. When it comes to our capacity to attend, we lack empathy. For example, we listen to give suggestions and feedback to prepare our narratives. We must communicate with others to have a deeper understanding of our thoughts. Most of us are absorbed in our hectic routines and fail to take the time to think about how critical it is for others to have their views heard. When we're listening, we get the impression that we're required to say something in response. When we are there for someone, we are actively listening for ways we might be of assistance. Listening becomes an art form when we learn to give and receive in a way that enhances the quality of our lives.
I leave you with this final exercise
When attempting to tell someone about your experience, did you ever feel like they weren't paying attention to what you were saying? Describe the situation. What emotions did it conjure up in you? Now switch the roles. Consider if you have ever been that person on the opposite side of the table: Are you a good listener?